Am I a 'housewife'?

Convo between A and I today via gchat:

(Join us mid thought)

me:  i'm sorry you're stressed and overwhelmed though

i feel it right there with you

andrew:  what is stressing you and overwhelming you? how can i help?

me:  the house being messy, me needing to get on top of groceries, be a better housewife

that kind of stuff

andrew:  i don't think there is a need to stress over those things

i think you’re a great housewife

also

you're not a housewife

me:  yes i am

i should be anyways

andrew:  i don't think you’ve internalized that

me:  internalized what?

andrew:  that you're not a housewife....you don't stay at home all day

the fact that you have a full time job means that there is no housewife

or househusband

me:  huh

i've never thought of it that way before

andrew:  exactly...i think if you started thinking like that, your stress would go down

i do not expect housewife things of you, and you should not expect them of yourself

we compromise, work together, and sacrifice until we're at the next stage in life

me:  why are you always so right about everything?

andrew:  becuase i'm super smart

(won’t comment on the fact that he spelled ‘because’ wrong, bless his smart little heart)

So why, you are now asking yourself, am I sharing this little tidbit with you today? No, I don’t want to start a huge feminism conversation, no I don’t want to argue about gender roles, or hear why women belong in the home, or why women need to work. I just want to talk about my life. ME. My experience. Everyone is different. So deal with that. (Or you can stop reading.)

I put SO much stress on myself to be the perfect wife. See here. I want to be super woman. I want to cook and clean and work out and look pretty and be spiritual and support Andrew and work 40 hours a week and do well at my job and be a good friend/colleague/sister/daughter/aunt and guess what IT IS REALLY HARD TO DO ALL THAT AT ONCE.

I’m kind of tired of judging myself based on an idea of this unrealistic superwoman I feel like everyone besides me is. So that being said, I’m just going to kind of give up on the idea that I’m a “housewife” right now. Because in reality, I spend less than 5 hours (not counting sleep) in my house every day.  

AND THAT IS OK.

Will that someday change? Yes. I hope so. I look forward to it. I want to be a housewife and stay home with our children and raise them and bake cookies and build forts and live the life of luxury that all current stay-at-home-moms have. (Please note the sarcasm in that.)  

But for now, I’m a working wife. A working wife who is still taking care of her family in a very big way, just a different way. Not only that, but I’m kind of awesome at what I do. And to quote Andrew, just for good measure, “that kind of awesomeness comes with the trade-off that you don’t have time to do laundry.”

#teamselman

Getting my Fix

Hello again.

Perhaps it's the fact that I don't blog more than once a month year that makes it so awkward for me to start a new post.

I feel like that person at a birthday party who's trying to get everyone's attention because it's time to start singing. "Umm hi, everyone? Attention please?"

So the fact that I'm blogging and even going on this awkward rant should alert you to the fact that I have something pretty amazing to share. Ladies, prepare yourselves.  (Husbands, get out your wallets.) Let me introduce you to my latest discovery - Stitch Fix

Stitch Fix is a personal styling service.  It's like the Birchbox of clothes.  Stitch Fix is aimed at women who are less inclined to shopping, but still love a good style.  Their website says it best: "You tell us your style, size, and budget preferences, and we send you a package of stylish goodies to try on at home. Each Fix™ is unique and hand-picked just for you."

A hand-picked box of clothes just for me, delivered to my door?  Sounds a little too good to be true, right?

Let's get into the gritty details:

• You start the process by filling out an online style profile.  I have to applaud Stitch Fix on this - it's a very detailed process.  They ask the normal things like your height, weight, bra size, dress size, pant size, etc.  (Be honest here!) But then they go into even more detail asking "how do you prefer your clothes to fit?" "how would you characterize your personal style?" and "what's your primary occupation?" They even show pictures of several different styles (bohemian chic, classic, romantic, glamorous, preppy, causal chic) and have you rate them.
• Part of your style profile also includes letting them know the types of clothes you are looking for (more casual v. more business), parts of your body you prefer having covered, how much you're willing to spend on certain item (items average around $65), fabrics you prefer to avoid - really they don't miss a thing! You can even link them to your style board on Pinterest to give them ideas.
• Once your profile is complete, you can go ahead and schedule your "fix".  It will usually have to be at least 2 weeks from the time that you first sign  up.  You pay a $20 styling fee right off the bat which covers the cost of styling and shipping. (This $20 can later be applied to any items you decide to keep.)
• Then you simply sit back, relax, and look forward to your package!

My package arrived two days earlier than my original scheduled fix date.  It honestly came at the perfect time - let's just say I hadn't been having the best day.

The box was so much fun to open!  Everything was neatly packaged and wrapped, and to my delight, it even came with a personal note from my stylist, Michelle. This immediately added a very personal feel to my fix, which I loved.  It was like I instantly got a new best friend.

My fix included:

To my surprise, not only did I LOVE everything in my fix, but it all fit!  I ended up only keeping two items (the two blouses), the rest didn't seem worth the money to me.  But I was able to apply my $20 deposit, and sending the rest back was a breeze.  (They give you a pre-paid package to send things back in.)

Along with your items, they also send a style guide with suggestions on how to wear the pieces.

Final Review:

• Is it worth it?  Yes and no.  If you are one of those women who really doesn't love shopping and doesn't do it too frequently - YES.  It's very worth it.  If you're honest in filling out your style profile, I don't see why you would have a negative experience.  Plus the more often you get fixes, the better your stylist gets to know you and your likes/dislikes.  While it is pretty pricey, if you don't go shopping that often, I'd say it's worth it.
• For those of you who are more like me, and are inclined to go shopping on a daily basis anyways, this probably isn't your best bet.  It adds up, and if you're going to be spending that money on your own anyways, there's no real need to have someone else pick out things for you.

All that being said, no matter what type of woman you are, I'd say it's at least worth giving a try once.  I had a lot of fun and love the pieces I ended up keeping.  If you're interested, give it a try! Let me know what you think! :)

xoxo

(not that anyone was wondering, but just fyi, this is NOT a sponsored post. seeing as how my blog only has 13 posts and 6 followers, I can promise you Stitch Fix knows nothing of me) :)