Am I a 'housewife'?

Convo between A and I today via gchat:

(Join us mid thought)

me:  i'm sorry you're stressed and overwhelmed though

i feel it right there with you

andrew:  what is stressing you and overwhelming you? how can i help?

me:  the house being messy, me needing to get on top of groceries, be a better housewife

that kind of stuff

andrew:  i don't think there is a need to stress over those things

i think you’re a great housewife

also

you're not a housewife

me:  yes i am

i should be anyways

andrew:  i don't think you’ve internalized that

me:  internalized what?

andrew:  that you're not a housewife....you don't stay at home all day

the fact that you have a full time job means that there is no housewife

or househusband

me:  huh

i've never thought of it that way before

andrew:  exactly...i think if you started thinking like that, your stress would go down

i do not expect housewife things of you, and you should not expect them of yourself

we compromise, work together, and sacrifice until we're at the next stage in life

me:  why are you always so right about everything?

andrew:  becuase i'm super smart

(won’t comment on the fact that he spelled ‘because’ wrong, bless his smart little heart)

So why, you are now asking yourself, am I sharing this little tidbit with you today? No, I don’t want to start a huge feminism conversation, no I don’t want to argue about gender roles, or hear why women belong in the home, or why women need to work. I just want to talk about my life. ME. My experience. Everyone is different. So deal with that. (Or you can stop reading.)

I put SO much stress on myself to be the perfect wife. See here. I want to be super woman. I want to cook and clean and work out and look pretty and be spiritual and support Andrew and work 40 hours a week and do well at my job and be a good friend/colleague/sister/daughter/aunt and guess what IT IS REALLY HARD TO DO ALL THAT AT ONCE.

I’m kind of tired of judging myself based on an idea of this unrealistic superwoman I feel like everyone besides me is. So that being said, I’m just going to kind of give up on the idea that I’m a “housewife” right now. Because in reality, I spend less than 5 hours (not counting sleep) in my house every day.  

AND THAT IS OK.

Will that someday change? Yes. I hope so. I look forward to it. I want to be a housewife and stay home with our children and raise them and bake cookies and build forts and live the life of luxury that all current stay-at-home-moms have. (Please note the sarcasm in that.)  

But for now, I’m a working wife. A working wife who is still taking care of her family in a very big way, just a different way. Not only that, but I’m kind of awesome at what I do. And to quote Andrew, just for good measure, “that kind of awesomeness comes with the trade-off that you don’t have time to do laundry.”

#teamselman